I'm not usually the advice giving type. It's likely from professors pounding it into my head during grad school that therapists are not there to give advice, rather they are there to listen and encourage the client to draw their own conclusions from their therapeutic session. However, I'm committed to staying the course with this challenge, so if it's advice you want, it's advice you'll get!
My biggest piece of advice is twofold:
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Being kind is pretty self explanatory, but I'll give you a little background on why I feel this is important. A few years ago I read a book by Karen Armstrong called '12 Steps to a Compassionate Life.' The overarching theme of the book is that we can be the change in the world if we merely show compassion - compassion toward our fellow man or woman despite our social, religious, political, etc differences. I just think the world could go a long way if people started being nice to each other...such a simple concept, yet something even I struggle with daily (especially if I am driving! Ha!) So be kind...you don't know what is going on in another's life, many times we don't know what makes up their past or present...all we can control is ourselves, and being nice can make a significant difference to another person.
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On a side note, I will say asking for help from a counselor early in my marriage made a HUGE difference, and if any person, married or engaged, asks for advice that's usually what I tell them: Don't be afraid to ask for help or see a marriage counselor. Getting married at the ripe old age of 21 wasn't a mistake, but it's clear to me at age 30 (and even 23) that there is way more to marriage than just eating dinner together and going to bed together...you have to learn how to communicate, how to fight and how to compromise. Learning those lessons early on was a life saver (and having a partner committed to do the same makes a world of difference!)
What's the best advice you've ever received?
Be kind! The world would be a much better place if people would just be kind. Stop and think. Just be kind. Live that way and things would be a lot different.
ReplyDeleteI have a tough time asking for help, too, and can definitely relate. I'm always afraid to "inconvenience" anyone, even my own family, so try to take on too much by handling everything myself. And when I inevitably can't, I crack under the pressure -- and just have a serious freak-out! I'm getting better about it, but it's something I have to work on!
ReplyDeleteFantastic advice, and pretty much the golden rule! Thanks so much for sharing. Please feel free to stop by and check out my advice as well. :-)
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